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Search Engine Submission Helper

I have just added the following new program to my site. The details are as follows:

New Utility Program - Search Engine Submission Helper
Details at

You can download a freeware copy by clicking the Non Members download link.

Cartoon Screen Savers Now All Freeware Again

I have today returned all my cartoon screen savers to freeware.

Visit and click on the Non Members download link for each saver.

Screen savers include:

Percy Penguin - Virtual Penguin screen saver.

Morris Myna - You very own virtual pet Myna bird in a screen saver.

Tom & Jerry - Tom getting into trouble while chasing Jerry.

Pooh & The Honey Tree - Winnie The Pooh uses a balloon to try to get
some honey.

Mud Bath - Cartoon hippos wallowing in mud.

Sylvester & Tweety - Watch Sylvester getting into some terrible

Spring Clean - Give your computer the once over inside.

Goosed! - A cartoon story of a bull greeting a man.

Willy and Wally - Your very own virtual goldfish on your desktop.

Teletubbies - Time for Teletubbies including lots of nursery rhyme

Eeyore's Lost Tail - Eeyore takes a river trip and meets many of his

Pooh And Tigger - A simple Screen Saver of two very lovable

ADHD Or What ? - A certain character from Tasmania whirls around your

Flower Power - Animated flowers growing to classical midi tracks get
their own back on the groundsman.


New Program - UK Parish Finder

I have today added the following software program to my website.

UK Parish Finder - A genealogy program to help with locating Parishes in the UK

When searching for information on United Kingdom relatives or finding out your roots through tracing your family tree (genealogy) you will no doubt come across the seemingly endless number of parishes that used to exist in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

A parish is an area covered by a church or churches in the UK. There can be many parishes within a District and many Districts can exist within a County. The four UK countries are split into these counties. All of these have moved their boundaries over the years and so finding an old parish where the births, deaths and marriages records are kept can be very daunting. Many parishes still exist today but old records often only show the parish name. You then have the task of finding where in the UK that parish might have been and where the records might be kept now. Confused already? This is why I made the program, to help in searching all the old parish names, to find out which District, County and Country they are in.

More details and download at

Oh Dear Tony Please, Please Piss On Me Next

After completely ruining our country and our relationship with the rest of the world, Mr Tony Blair had to give one more final stream of hot piss in our faces before he left as prime minister. The knighthood given to Salman Rushdie is a complete insult not just to the Islamic world but also to us poor bloody English people. This bastard insulted the Islamic World back in 1988 with his book the Satanic Verses and Iran issued a fatwa (death threat) against him. Why the bloody hell did the islamic world not carry it out rather than their extremists killing thousands of innocent people. If truth be known this book and this evil man, was much to blame for the huge increase in terrorism since 1988 and yet our Government rewards him with a bloody knighthood. Plus God knows how many hundreds of thousands of pounds were spent (probably millions) on police protection for this slime ball for years after this death threat.

This creature has done absolutely nothing for our Country. It should be Salman Rushdie RIH (Rot In Hell) not Sir Salman Rushdie.

Turn Back To English

I'm working in Romania but I don't want the top bar of my blog to be in Romanian. Fair enough I suppose I could live with it being in Romanian before I log in, as being English we have to put up with a complete dilution of our language and lifestyle. It's not my fault the common language chosen has been English but why do we have to give up everything in favour of foreigners all the bloody time. As English people we have no rights at all in the World. The race discrimination act doesn't even apply to us.

After I log in I want ENGLISH please, because I am ENGLISH, not american, hindu, pakistani, malaysian, chinese, romanian or any other bloody nationality that wants to bugger our language completely.

Spammers - Spotty Jerks or The Big Boys?

Isn't it odd that whenever a new big product comes out, all the tossers who send spam suddenly decide they want to promote it. The latest is Adobe's "Creative Suite 3 Premium" and prior to that it was "Windows Vista...ready to download". I find it hard to believe that all the spotty little jerks who jam up everyone's inbox suddenly decide these are the things to try and flog today. decide.

Video Chat

Live Video Chat is fast becoming the preferred method to communicate with friends and family. Apart from being far cheaper than a phone call, it's great to see the other person you are chatting with.

To get on this fast moving bandwagon, you firstly need some good software to video chat with. Secondly, to live video chat you need someone to talk to. If like me, you have few friends, then try one of the many internet friend finding sites.

Once you done the above, then you may find that your increasing circle of friends, may also increase the number of rubbish emails you get in your inbox. Not because they give out your email address, but it is a sad fact that once you publicise your address in any way, this is invariably picked up by those that wish to send you emails advertising their products or services. These are usually ones that we would never be interested in, in the first place, hence their devious methods to get your interest. To protect yourself from this junk, you need to arm your computer with some good spy ware protection like SpyBot and also good anti-virus software e.g. AVG. Both are free and excellent.

Happy video chatting......Grey

Stopwatch Program

I have been asked by several people if I can add a countdown facility to my stopwatch program. I am pleased to say I have now managed to integrate a countdown option into the program and I hope to release the new version in the not too distant future.

Being British

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk away in the garage.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

Earn $100 Bucks

Here's the rub. I'm a software author, not a marketing or advertising guy and clearly I haven't got a clue how to sign up members for my website.

I receive over 2,000 unique visitors to my software website every day. I have hundreds and hundreds of genuine testimonials from ordinary folks who reckon that my programs are really great. However, I am lucky if just one person a day signs up to be a lifetime member. Notice Lifetime, not monthly or yearly membership. I've tried the last two plus every idea I can possibly think of and the only one that gets any kind of result is Lifetime membership. So you can see that my conversion rate is a little on the poor side!! i.e. 1:2000. Or should I expect this, I don't know.

My offer is to any bright person who comes up with a sensible idea as to how I can market my membership plans. If I haven't tried an idea before and I like the sound of it, I will try out one per week, taken in order of the comments made here (if I get any...ha, ha). If that idea doubles my normal membership intake for the week, then $100 buckeroos is yours. Double, sounds a bit daunting but I would have thought I should be signing up more members than one a day, so surely 2 a day is not beyond the realms of possibility. Or am I living in dreamland and one a day is pretty good. Let me know.

How can you trust me to pay you $100 if your idea works? Well, you'll just have to. I'm an Englishman and the sort of guy that goes back into a shop if he realises he's been given too much change... you know the sort....stupid... yes that's me! Gullible, soft hearted are other labels that have been attributed to me, well the nicer ones anyway.

All you have to do is take a look at my website, , and tell me what I could do to sign up more members. Is my sign up too confusing, should I have all my plans on one page etc., I don't tell me....pleeeeaaase.

Earn Extra Cash With Bloggerwave

I'm trying to make a reasonable living on the net with my software and other projects as explained in a previous post below. So I am always open to new ideas and one that's potentially an earner, is even more appealing. I recently came across Bloggerwave where you can earn cash by writing reviews for companies on their products or services. I enjoy writing, so thought I would give it a whirl.

The sign up was really easy and all was approved very quickly, which to be honest is a bit refreshing. They are, however, quite new, so the offers available are somewhat limited but the site and the concept looks set to grow and grow.

So if you have a blog, why not give Bloggerwave a try.

Free Links For Bloggers

I've just added a new Blogs links page to my software website Links section. I'm not a huge site but I do receive 2,000 unique visitors a day, have a Google Pagerank of 5 and am ranked in the top 340,000 websites on Alexa. So a free text link on my site could help your blog.

Visit here to request a free blog text link on Grey Olltwit Software.

Make Easy Money On The Net - Reality or Fantasy?

Sad to say, but in my experience it's a fantasy for most of us. There are a tiny minority who actually manage to make a pile but most of us barely scratch an existence, and many that boast of high incomes are usually lying to get you to part with your hard earned.

I've been 10 years on the net and can just about pay my rent and eat occasionally. It's taken me this long to build up my software website to receiving over 2,000 visitors a day. Did I hear you say "with that many visitors surely he should be raking it in"? I wish it were true but I've tried every type of remuneration from my software and finally ended up with a small one off membership fee for all of it, for life. Even then I'm lucky to get one new member a day out of 2,000.

My Bidvertiser Pittance
What about advertising? Well here again I have tried pretty much every type. Companies like Bidvertiser, Valueclick etc., have received thousands of free ad impressions from me and returned just a few cents. Google Adsense is the only one in my experience that is playing the game. I can earn at least the odd dollar or two from them with even as low as 50 impressions on some of my new sites. On my main site, I have managed to squeeze it up a few dollars to at least make the check come each month i.e. over the $100 dollar threshold. The answer seems to be to make literally thousands of pages, so the small amount of income you get from each, totals a half way decent amount and submitting to the search engines by hand yourself, for free, is the best way to increase traffic, in my opinion. My list of links to 90 search engines is now available here if that will help. Plus my little search engine submission helper, freeware program is nearly ready.

There are always plenty out there, ready to promise the earth and take your money, but then that's how some get to be members of the tiny minority I talked about earlier. I admit there is an even tinier minority who have worked hard to get where they are, with no doubt a bit of luck too, but I challenge the likes of Shoemoney and Mr.Chow to comment otherwise and say it is easy to make a huge pile, and if so, how.

My Block Text Replacer Program Is Now Freeware

Just to let you know that my Block Text Replacer program is now free for non members.
Please visit: and click on the non members download link.

That's all for now.


Grey Olltwit

Plan Maker, Strongest Link and Fractions

My Plan Maker program for making simple house plans, street direction maps etc., has now been completed and is available here. The search engine program I mentioned below is still under development but mainly just needs some cosmetic tidying up before release as freeware.

I'm working on an improved version of my Strongest Link program, to include larger text and the ability to change the font etc., and maybe include some small graphics.

I have long been asked for a program about Fractions and I am now pleased to announce that I have made the basis of a program which can display fractions in a format that I am happy with. This was the stumbling block for me before, when trying to create a program about this area of maths. I used to dread fractions at school and I'm sure I'm not alone here, so anything I can make to help students of today, I'm hoping will prove to be useful. It will take a while to develop into a finished program but hopefully I can make it available in the near future.

Free Webmaster Resources

I'm currently working on a page listing about 90 search engines that you can submit your website/s to for free. Plus I'm building a handy little tool to help you with all the copying and pasting. This I shall add to the page as a free download. There is a bit more work to do yet but I hope to release it shortly.

There are of course sites that claim to auto submit your website to hundreds of search engines. Some are free and some cost. However, I have found that an increasing number of search engines now require some sort of manual validation, such as filling in a box with letter/numbers from a picture. This apparently, in an effort to reduce 'robotic' submissions. Hence, it seems to me that a manual submission is perhaps the way to go. Well for the moment at least.

Also, those hundreds of search engines these sites claim to submit to, contain a large number of link sites, which apparently according to some experts, are a complete waste of time submitting to.

New Programs, Updates and Earn Cash

My platform game Simanji is now available whilst my Planmaker is still in development. I hope to release it shortly. I have also added a new program for those that have some difficulty using a mouse. It's a media player which scrolls through folders and options, allowing you to click when you see something you want to view, such as a folder of pictures or listen to some mp3 tracks or wav files. The mouse click doesn't need to be in any specific place, you just need to be able to click, hence the program is called Left Click Media Player.

I've made some updates to my car game, Rally Cross, plus I have added 8 new cars.

You can now earn money by referring folks to Grey Olltwit Software with my new affiliate scheme. I pay $4 (2 GBP) for every new sign up through an affiliates link. I create your web page on my site and pay each time you refer someone. No waiting months for a payout.

March Updates

My Jellyfish and Let It Snow screen savers are now available as downloads plus the Junior Wordsearch Maker I was talking about in my last post.

New updates have been made to my Turtle Valentine and Easter Screen Savers plus I've been giving my fossil website a makeover too. Its new address is and it has a free copy of my Dinosaurs Screen Saver, plus you can play an online quiz and download a free copy of Dinosaur Hunt, my fossil hunting game.

Nearly ready for release are a new game, Simanji, based loosely on the first 'Jumanji' film, plus a program for easily making plans of rooms, buildings, simple street directions etc.

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